This thing called Hope, when does it become too much. We all know that most times relationships come to a halt but we still hope somewhere deep down in out hearts that things would come back to how cozy and sweet like they used to be, having this thoughts for a while is ok, especially if you were being real all along and not faking emotions but if you hold on to this for years and keep letting the other party involved play with your emotions doing come backs to you all the time while you keep your arms wide open and let them walk in and out as they please then be ready for deep emotional and psychological damage.

Hey you lady/Mr its high time you tell him/her to hit the guns and mean it, I mean you are no tree that remains at same spot for as long as it lives, you are human and you have to keep moving forward and there is no need looking back to people who keep manipulating and using you.


Dear Amaka

, please do not disclose my name nor may address.

The reason for writing this is am so confused and I need some advise.

There is this guy we have a child together, we were in a relationship
for ten years however he dumped me got another girl and married. As
the other lady had given birth he came back to me sweet talked me in
the course I got pregnant for our three year old baby girl now. He ran
away from me and assured me how there was nothing between the two of
us apart from him giving me the baby’s support. I digested it and
moved on with life. I looked for a job got it started working and
taking care of me and my baby and rely God blessed me because I look
good now. Sine I was so much into him and he knows am weak for him and
Loved him so much he finds it easy to come back to me. However when he
comes back I set conditions for him like supporting me other than the
baby’s support which he does before having sex but he stops supporting
after having sex. This makes me feel that this guy only needs me for
sex and I always tell him that which he denies and says he is the
farther of my baby and still has rights over me.

He doesn’t even offer the support as agreed I struggle so much as a
single mother. Now days I try so much to avoid him by keep away from
him and avoiding staying with him for long because I feel used and he
is in a very happy marriage as I see him and the way he respects his
wife. Am so hurt by the fact that I try to move on and this guy
continues to chess for me because I am single. This is causing a lot
of misery, bitterness and resentment in my heart. In so much pain
please advise.


Dear Sister,

If you would like to hear the truth, then here it is; of course he is with you for the sex, oh you thought he wanted more? if he wanted more it would not take him 10 years to realize this, you keep showing him how available you are and how tied to him you are and he jumps at this and manipulates you. Sister he is NEVER going to leave his wife for you and he would not make you a second wife, so you either choose to be a side dish which he comes back to whenever he is bored or you move on with your life and NEVER EVER look back.

10 years you have been letting him play with your emotions, its high time you stop this move on. There are people out there who would love you for you, so you better give yourself the opportunity to be happy or you continue being a side dish. Remember you would survive, take this thought with you and empower yourself.

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