7 COMMANDMENTS OF THROWING AN AFRICAN WEDDING

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We Africans have a thing for big weddings, we love our ceremony grande we call it the I better pass my neighbor syndrome. For reasons that is still hard to grasp we believe there is need to impress and represent, therefore the pressure of a big wedding intensifies with every passsing month and don’t forget we have to look for flawless for bella naija and aso ebi bella so there you go. Here are 7 commandments you need to follow if you want the perfect African wedding:

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1. Thou shalt place your mother above yourself

Don’t go about assuming your wedding is going to be all about you err.. wrong perception, kindly walk up to your mother and ask her what are her plans for the wedding

I guess now you know what mama’s demands are, now time to know what your pastors plans for the wedding are

Is he happy? are you sure? okay now you can start to plan the wedding.

2. Thou shalt place your friends in their level

Just as the wedding is not about you, its even less about your friends, so no sentiments when you are picking your bridal train or grooms men, its not required.

Now if your bestie does not have the right skin tone or appropriate height for your flawless bellanaija photo shoot then off with his head lol not literally, but you have to settle for an acquaintance that would do just right.

Err.. just put them on the high table, that should do.

3. Thou shall not go with food network dishes

Is there a need to emphasize this, i think not the basis of any mo gbo moya is about food so don’t go trying any food network experiments do that on your anniversary (maybe).

Obviously you don’t play with their Jollof rice.

And then maybe some small chops

And then of cause Alchohol

Without this, your wedding is not on point.

4. Never forget to include the pricey Aso Ebi

The beautiful part of a wedding is the Aso-ebi that would be sold to your invitees, so yes inflate it as you like

Of cause, I am not a poor somebody.

The aso ebi has two main use, the first is crowd control

https://twitter.com/TheGreyGenesis/status/509356223834365952?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Aso-ebi is your passport.

Secondly it covers the cost of your honeymoon.

Hello, I need to be chill in a 5-star hotel, Ibiza is not cheap.

5. Thou shalt not waste time, get to the point already.

We love God yes, but we are at a wedding, let your pastor know that.

The service should be short, I mean really short after-all its a wedding.

If you find enough people at the church service, well beautiful, if not the reception awaits.

6. Thou shalt pick the right venue.

Do not stress anybody with your wedding fantasies, keep it in your dreams.

Well it better remain there cause mama would have non of that.

A big hall, expensive decor, a good Dj would do. Do you need to be happy, isn’t that a myth?

7. Thou shalt instantly forget about a budget

So remind me again, whats a budget o yeah, you have one tear it up, there’s no need your account balance would suffice.

Two plates for every guest

RSVP, what is that again?

Prepare your mind, remember your makeup and wedding outfits needs to slay. Yes I said it.

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