HE BROKE UP WITH ME ALL BECAUSE OF SEX

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This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a [email protected]

Most ladies have been pressured to have sex and most of them give in to it because of the fear of losing the person they really care about. Ladies who end up giving in to the pressure simply do whatever they feel is right to keep their boyfriend and in the end, some bargain their bodies in their attempt to keep the relationship going. In the process, lose their self respect, while some end up with unwanted pregnancy, diseases, bad reputation and of course a broken heart.

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I live in the UK but i took a year off school and came back to Naij in August to take care of my mum cos she got sick. I met this guy in September. He’s really nice. We started talking and i liked him. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I was like chill that’s too fast lets take it slowly + i’m going back to UK in January so i had to be sure he was serious. We usually just kiss and touch breast but after sometime he started asking for sex. I would make excuses till i ran out of them then lied that i was a virgin. (i’m not. i lost my virginity last year. i didn’t think i was going to regret it but couple of weeks after i broke down and terribly regretted it and decided to be celibate till marriage). Anyways this guy kept pestering me for sex even after i told him that i was a virgin. He said i didn’t care about his feelings. I hear stories of guys saying their girlfriends don’t love them because they don’t want to have sex. This is the first time I’m experiencing it. He started getting angry with me at very little things. Saying I’m not treating him right. We spent last weekend at my place and he kept disturbing me for sex. Monday night same thing trying to have sex with me. I said no that i wasn’t ready and he got angry and faced the wall. I was tired so i fell asleep only for him to wake me up in the middle of the night that i should come and lock the gate that he’s leaving he can’t take this anymore. Its been 3 days now and he hasn’t responded to my phone calls. He reads my messages and doesn’t respond. I’m so confused. All this because of sex?

Dear Re-Virgined

You should realize it as a red flag that something isn’t right in your relationship when a guy is pressurizing you for sex, sex is never love. Though, sex is a form of intimacy but it shouldn’t be the determinant of a relationship, it is never an indicator of love or your level of commitment in the relationship so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You will be avoiding lot of pains if you stick to your opinion of not having sex before marriage and trust me it will be worth it.

You can’t tell what is in your partners mind but his incessant pressure only depicts he is only interested in sex. If he chooses to end the relationship because of it, then you should allow him do so, you deserve better and the right guy that deserves you will definitely come. Don’t give chance to anything or anyone that will discourage you from being celibate till marriage. Forget about him and move on to save your self esteem and save you from heart break.

Hey darlings this sister is in need of your advice please help her out.

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