HE HAS A SON FROM ANOTHER WOMAN, SHOULD I BE SCARED?

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 This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail [email protected]
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‎Dear Amaka,
I am a 31 years old lady and unemployed. I am caught in-between my past and present love. My ex really love me but just didn’t know how to handle relationship and because of his rigidity and selfwill, we ended our seven years relationship. I am currently in love with a guy I met online six months ago and he’s serious about getting married to me. We both love each other though we ‎haven’t met. I’ve made efforts in meeting him but he’s a very busy person who travels almost every time due to the nature of his job. He discovered this year his ex has a daughter for him and he wants me to marry him and take care his child. But the problem lies with his parents because they don’t want two women to bear children for him.
Am afraid of marrying him because whenever he travels to see his son he doesn’t call or contact me and he hasn’t find out time to meet me. My ex is also disturbing me to love him back but I no longer love him. I really want to settle down because my parents are on my neck and they also want me to reconsider my ex and stop loving the guy I met online.
First I would like to ask why you are unemployed? Before you try to make a home is it not advisable to make YOU, should you not be looking more to balance yourself financially and all?
Secondly, you have answered your own question, you do not love your ex anymore why go back to him, there is actually no need to be with someone you do not love, and for this new guy who you love and wants to marry you, talk to him express yourself, tell him how his actions hurt you and see if there would be a change in his attitude and if there is no change then probably he has not really broken ties with his ex.
If you have any form of communication with this so called ex its best you cut it off so you can move on and be happy. I’m sure you would not like to be running around in circles would you?
Am Nash. I have been in a relationship with a man happened to have a daughter with .This man is married but because my religion accepts polygamy I agreed to marry him .i became pregnant later n he agreed we marry n so went ahead to do introduction at my home town.After I had the baby his behaviour changed towards me, no calls messages n say on .When I tried finding where i stand in his life , he will just not say a word .Please am confuse as to what to do now. I don’t also want my child to go through single parenthood. Advice please
I see where you say ‘I tried finding where I stand in his life’ so this means you have tried talking to him and he still hasn’t changed. I would not like to believe that you are in some sort of emotional cage here but with what I see I think you are in one and he might be trying to eat out of both places and its best you make him understand that he should treat you right too, you not telling him to leave his family but all he has to do is make you feel like a part of it not lock you out.
If he still does not change, if you are capable emotionally and financially you can leave and try to get a new life where you would be appreciated. Just believe there is nothing you cannot achieve and take charge of your life.
How are you? I hope all is fine. Well
I have this problem. I dont know what is wrong with me. Am in my early 20’s and i have been dating this guy for almost two years now. His really sweet and the best guy i have ever dated but i keep thinking about my ex. It bothers me . I dont know why. My ex and i ended badly and my recent boyfriend now was there as a friend through all that. But its been a very long time i have heard anything about my ex but thoughts about him keeps clouding my mind. I hate that i think about him. And i can’t tell my recent boyfriend about it because it would hurt him . So please advice me. Am desperate. What should i do????
If you say he is sweet and the best guy then why think of an ex who has moved on, but if you keep thinking of the ex its likely you do not love the present guy, if you look deep down within you and you see that you do not love the recent guy its best you let him go, because as he is nice and sweet he deserves someone who would love him equally but if you know that you have feelings for him, its best you build it and bring out something good from it. There is an adage that says ‘if you get a king do not shuffle your card because you might get a joker’
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