HE IS YET TO PROPOSE WHAT DO I DO?

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This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail [email protected]

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Hi Amaka,

I am a 22 years old virgin girl,and i have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now but we never have sex, we had an agreement that we will do it when i turned 21, last year when we try it for the first time it didnt go through,and i was just scared of the pain, we try now for 4 times but no progress, he thinks now i don’t want to have sex with him, that im being selfish but is not my intention, i think maybe im not normal.. sister Amaka do you think is normal like that? i think it never going to work, i tried more than enough.. i just need an advice.
Dear Sister,
Right now I am a little bit confused, what exactly am I meant to advise you on? how to have sex?. What I see here is a girl who is actually not ready but is trying to take a step due to pressure from someone she has serous emotional feelings for, if you know you are not ready then do not force it at all. If you have an absolute conclusion that you want to do this, then just be calm its probably because you are scared and that is why its not happening, relax and please do not be under any form of pressure. If you are not ready say NO and do not flinch.
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I have been seeing a lovely Nigerian man for a few months now. He’s sweet, driven, ambitious and always puts me first despite of how much of a brat I’m being. I have long term plans with him but I worry that he doesn’t because firstly I’m not Nigerian and his family has made it very clear that they don’t appreciate the difference in cultures. I worry that he is dishonest with me. I have been cheated on in the past and there are some things that come across red flags to me even when they’re not. I struggle to trust him and I don’t know if he’s just going to make a fool of me like has been done to me in the past.
I also worry because he likes to take things super slow but I don’t and there’s a lotta things in our relationship that haven’t happened because he thinks I should be patient, but I want them now.
I don’t know if I should continue to pursue this relationship without a guarantee of a future or if I should stick it out and see what happens. please help me :(
First the hurt of past relationship should not be brought into a new relationship, let the relationship flow, do not put in distrust or fear, be calm. Secondly then the tribe/culture issue talk to him about it, if he does not give a reassuring answer you should think about moving on because it would be unwise to be with him for a long time and then end up not being together due this issue.
Thirdly why are you in a hurry with things to happen immediately, be calm and take it a step at a time.
[yop_poll id=”613″]
 
 
pls i need your advice concerning my relationship. i met this guy 2years ago we planned to move our relationship to the next level before he traveled abroad. but after some times we stopped talking buh later we came together again and started talking back buh i noticed he didnt mention anything about settling down anymore and jus pf recently he told me he is coming back to Nigeria and he insisted dat i shud follow him to a trip with hhis friends. but wah i dont understand yet is dat he doesnt make mention of dating or any relationship cos he told me he is a slow thinker so im jus looking maybe i shud continue and turn down his offer or wah?
If you think deep down within you that he is not being serious then talk to him about it, if he does not give you a serious answer or act like he is up to something good then you should just move on, no need to drag your ass and holding on to what is not holding on to you.
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