HE LOVES ME BUT I CAN’T PUT UP WITH HIS LIFESTYLE

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This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail [email protected]

Love is not the only base of being in a relationship. There are many criteria’s to look out for when going into a relationship, Though its really tough dealing with someone from a different background because of our different ideas and character. Breaking up with someone is never the easiest thing to do in the world. Sometimes there might be some attributes that we fail to see but might be seen by others especially our parents, Though some parents judge with the physical appearance and don’t have a good reason behind their disapproval but when both parents disapprove and have a real and good reason behind their disapproval they should never be ignored.

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  My name is Tricia,i’m 26years old. i  have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and got engaged in April.We made our plans and travelled to see my family but on hearing he is divorced with a baby girl they disapproved,and this issue has lingered for 2months+ now. Not only my family’s disapproval,he has some attiudes that really puts me off. 1. I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable with his igbotic nature 2. His Lonely lifestyle isnt just my life (He doesnt have friends and always stop me from seeing my friends) 3. sometimes when we get into an arguement he breaks things in the house out of anger and appologises few minutes later. We always disagree at every little thing.With all these I am already fed up of the relationship  and im thinking of moving on with someone else but im so certain he loves me so much and to an extent i can swear he’s not seeing any other girl. I am so confused now, i don’t know how to end the relationship cos he has faced a lot of challanges in his previous relationship and adding to it will feel like death to him. Please Advise on what to do and how to go about with the break up if i really have to?
Dear Confused
Before you commit to wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone you have to be absolutely in love with that person, his whims, his good side and his bad side but from the looks of it you have quite a number of issues you need to deal with. Your parents are correct to be concerned, its only natural since you are committing to a man who has been married before, did you try to find out from other people what they perceived went wrong with his previous marriage? Divorce is a two way thing but in some cases its not.
There are definitely a lot of red flags that you have to deal with before you commit and one of the major flags is his anger issue, get him to see a counselor or a spiritual leader he respects to talk about this problem because this is not something you would like to have re-occur when you are finally married, it can lead to a very disastrous end.
There is also the need to make him realize that your friends matter to you and that you are also an individual apart from his soon to be wife and its only natural that you would want a support system around you aside’s from him.
Take your time, think about this red flags you’ve mentioned, if he doesn’t change or listen to you or you find that you can’t live or condone them, then you might just have to find your prince charming elsewhere.
 Hey darlings, this sister is in desperate need of your advice,please leave your comment and advice in the comment box below.

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