This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to [email protected]


Hello Amaka,
I’m in a dilemma. I have a guy i love very much. We have been together for abt 5 years now. We have been through alot together. I’ve helped him in times of need and he has too. He stayed with me even when i drifted and cheated on him but we settled it and we’re back together and happy. He loves me so much but the problem is he travelled outside the country for a course 2years ago and its a 3 year course. When he’s done and we eventually get married (we’re presently engaged and I’ve a child for him), he wouldn’t be a stay at home dad. The course he’s studying requires that wen he gets a job, he could be away for about 6months and then return for about 3months and leave again and it could continue for years. But i think i prefer a man that would return to me every day. I dont want to have to take care of the children alone most of the year and i want the man i love to always be by my side. I love him so much and can’t picture my life with another man. right now, i feel so bad most times because i’m raising our child alone. I dont know how i can handle it for many more years. Please what do i do?

Dear Sister,

You say you guys have gone through a lot together,you say you love each other,you say you have a child for him, with all you say it looks like you are in a happy relationship, if you are happy you should try to stay with him.

I understand that it is not easy having a long distance relationship but then if the one who completes you and makes you happy has a job that takes him away for some months is it not better to stay with him than for you to be with another person who might not make you so happy but he comes back daily.

They say absence makes the heart fonder,see it that way, your absence from each other would make you treasure the time you have together and give more value to each other. Do not be worried dear sister it is really not that bad and with technology you can always connect with each other.

[yop_poll id=”632″]


Dear Amaka,

I am 3oyears of age and in love with a man who is 40years with two kids bt lost his wife years back. We fell in love 2012 bt my family did nt support. We had to move on. I dated and had breakups,i even went as far as almost getting married bt it packed up two months to my wedding and the same thing happened to him too. Now we found ourself and the love came back so strong that I can’t leave him again,we want to get married bt my family still is nt in support for me to marry him,cus they claim he is old for me and the kids. I love my family, am confused.i need an advice,please.

Dear Sister,

First I do not see how he is too old for you, you say his wife is late so that means you are not coming in to scatter his family or cause any pain. You are getting married not your family you need to think because your family would not marry you? so there, with what you have said it is clear that both of you do love yourselves a great deal and want to be together, talk to your family explain things to them, you are at the right age of settling down and being happy do not let them stop you because of their opinions. What matters is what you feel and at the end of the day its your overall happiness that counts.

[yop_poll id=”631″]



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