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Yes I knew hubby drinks alcohol before we got married but like a bottle in a month until I discovered he smokes and he swore he’ll stop and if not, I should pull out of the relationship even if it was marriage.Fast forward, he is now a fish that cannot survive without water(alcohol). October last year, he had a partial stroke, doctor advised he stays away from alcohol forthwith but still continued.I was 4 months pregnant when he came home drunk and beat me up.he pleaded that i should not to tell my people which I agreed.He bought a car February this year and started coming home late, sometimes 2am that is if he doesn’t sleep out.He insults my parents when we quarrel, calls me a useless and fruitless woman.Whenever he drinks, he misbehaves that even a toddler knows.I will still be the one to massage his left leg which gives him problems after drinking.On Wednesday, I went to his mums shop to report to her(she lives with me though) only for me to meet him there with her and his other sister discussing me.He told them he regrets marrying me,if he has his way,he will push me out.All these is because I kick against drinking and smoking.I heard all they said, opened the door, greeted them and left so they will know I heard them.Same Wednesday he drank and came home around 11pm and began to misbehave again.Next thing he started insulting me because I was crying and before I knew it,he pulled his cloth to beat me.it took the intervention of neighbors from 11.30 to 2am to hold him.With all this,I have never reported to my family.I look older than my age for lack of care. I hardly smile for a whole week in a month.I’ve been enduring but it has become a norm for him.He is standing by his words to frustrate me till I go.I have 2 sons that I’ve been enduring for.Pls am I being foolish?I’m considering giving him space.I have prayed,fasted,pleaded nicely,quarrelled yet no changes.He comes hope with wine 11%and gives our son of 2yrs to drink.Please, what do I do?Help a troubled woman.

Note, He reports me about that I don’t respect him which is not true.Though his actions put me off most times.How can you wake up one morning and after greeting u,you ask me to put sir Good morning sir? You give money for feeding, I must kneel down to collect it and say thank you.You don’t care about me but care about kids.When you are paid, You send money to your people and I starve.None of my family has gotten a kobo from you.How do you expect the best from me when you maltreat me?He told his sisters and some of my neighbors that I’m a prostitute even though he has access to my fb,reads my chats and messages, takes my calls,I’m a full time house wife o.I don’t get respect from people becasue of all his talks and behavior. Please I don’t want to die.Pls advice me quickly because I’m tired and feel like running away with my kids


Dear Sister,

Living with an alcoholic is not only bad for you but also bad for your children, when one is intoxicated with alcohol, the person does not know what he or she is doing, your husband can come back drunk and not only beat you up but can also hurt the children, it really beats me to see how much a woman has to bare all in the name of keeping up a marriage, are you waiting till he cuts off your head before you decide to leave with your children? I would never support a woman staying with an abusive husband never.

You say you are a full time house wife, if i may ask why are you a house wife? did you choose this or he made it compulsory for you?, if you chose it, is now not the right time to run away from being a house wife as he is not meeting any of your financial needs, is it not time for you to get something doing so you can meet your own needs?. If your being a house wife was mandatory by him cant you see he did this so you can keep remaining subject to his maltreatment and abuse?

Respect is good in a marriage infact it is super important but there is a difference between a husband and a father, you should not be having a father daughter kind of relationship with your husband when he is meant to be a friend, who says kneel down, are we in the 60s this is year 2015 you should respect your husband yeah but the respect should not be in an abusive way.

I really cannot understand what exactly it is you still doing there, what you are waiting for before you take the bold steps, I pray that you do not loose a whole lot of you before you realize that you deserve the very best.



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