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Forgiving a cheater is never easy, the thought alone will drive you insane. Not able to forgive your partner will create distance, a feeling of anger and isolation and can as well have a negative impact on health while forgiving your cheating partner will be beneficial to the faithful partner more because it is the only antidote to move on and also a key to a successful relationship.
Hi Amaka,thanks for creating a place like this to share our minds and get to know the different word of advice.pls keep me anonymous tnks.I love my hubby so much I dated him for abt 2 years and then we got married,he is dis flexing type of guy and God fearing to an extent.he always tells me he is tired of the outside like flirting and all because he has done that well..I mean like clubbing hanging out late with friends before he got married and now he is married and focused of course I believed him.we blessed with a lovely child,few months after I strted noticing him chat nd flirt with different girls on watsapp and other social media ,each time I talk abt it he tells me they are just his friends then I quit.so one day I snooped into his fone and caught him cheating on me with a female corpmember,sex chatting and how he wanted to disvirgin the girl but he couldn’t. After seeing all I was hurt, depressed and betrayed,I felt my marriage was too young for him to start cheating on me..our sex life isn’t boring too.after few days I called him to have a heart to heart talk,told him how I was deeply hurt,he was sorry and asked for forgiveness and told me he hasn’t done it BT he was trying to then it wasn’t easy so he left the lady and said he had reason for cheating on me.I asked and then he said I accused him of cheating one certain time and he told me he didn’t cheat and used his late mum to swear and all and I still didn’t believe him he said he was deeply hurt and couldn’t get over it then he decided that since he wasn’t doing it and he got accused and after he swore and all I didn’t believe then he decided to cheat so that he wnt be accused wrongly,he said he was so hurt and didn’t get over the accusation for almost a month so that was what led to his cheating.he beg me to forgive him and promised me it will never happen again and I begged him to But I’m finding it hard to get over the fact dat he tried to penetrate anoda woman,kiss,romance and almost had skin to skin sex with anoda woman…it irritates me and has reduced the love,anytime I think of it I feel like running mental bcos we jst got married.pls what can I do to love my him back?
There is never an excuse for cheating, no matter the accusation. The problem is, if someone develops or taste the habit of cheating, it is very hard to desist from it and that is what you should try to combat with so he doesn’t go back to it. It is very brave of him to have admitted his mistakes and plead for forgiveness, so you have to express your feelings to him in a manner that will not be disrespectful or inconsiderate to your partner.
He has apologized but you still hold grudges against him that is why you can’t seem to forgive and move on. Though, it’s hard to let go of such feelings but it will be of great benefit to you if you forgive him and move on. Address the issue that might have led to the infidelity because not loving your partner again isn’t the best solution, focus on your feelings and not what your partner has done to enable you save your marriage.
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