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We all have done things in the past that we are not proud of, but holding on to it and not disclosing it to your partner will only make it linger in your present. Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and communication. Most partners keep their past away from their significant other with the intention of forgeting their past or not causing a rift in their new relationship without understanding that the past makes the present what it is.


I’m a 23yrs South African lady who just graduated from university and have been with my Nigerian boyfriend for 3yrs now. He started talking about marriage early this year and even bought me a ring however i was going through  his pictures oneday and saw a wedding picture of him and this lady and it got me thinking otherwise. I tried to talk to him about it but he just said i must stop digging from his past. I am so confused because he always talk of introducing me to his parents which he already did via phone and had already applied a visa for me to meet them in person December this year. After meeting his parents he want us to get married and settle down in Nigeria and i dont have a problem with it because i love him.Should i go with him or not, what if i find that his married. Please help!

Dear Confused,

Your partner might not be proud of his past or maybe it brings back bad memories and that may be the reason he has not told you about it, since you have a clue you must make your findings before going ahead with the marriage. If he relates his past to you after marriage, it will have a threat on your home so it would be adviceable to know about his past and why he is hiding it from you to prevent yourself from future family problems.

Make your findings and be prudent about it since you are not sure of what his past is so you don’t end up hurting his feelings. He might be defensive in telling you all about his past but you have to make him understand you love him and can’t ditch him because of his past. If truely he is married, you have to rethink about your marriage plans with him because meeting his parents is not the only thing that matters in a marriage.

Hey darlings, this sister is in need of your advice please help her out.



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