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A tit for tat is a confession of pain and a way to cope with anger, Rejection, Betrayal and Bitterness but it doesn’t heal your spirit. Specifically revenge on your ex boyfriend won’t make you feel better about who you are or where you are going rather it will keep you connected to the darkest part of yourself. You don’t need to get in the way of justice if he deserves to be punished he will definitely be punished. However, If your ex did anything illegal, I can encourage you to report to the police. There is a huge difference between getting on your ex because he/she hurts your feelings versus pressing charges against someone who harmed you.


Hi, Amaka I’d just go straight to the point… I’m in my early 20’s, beautiful and endowed in the right proportions… I met a guy 4years ago on my way back from a video shoot with my friends, my friend was actually the one who invited the guy over, the meeting took place @ a domino’s pizza outlet… I liked the guy at first sight, we had so many conversations as a group and the whole conversation ended with the guy proposing to me jokingly with a ring and all… Not far fetched from that day we started dating. After 6months of dinner dates and lunch he finally took me to his house and all. I spent a week in his house after that, it was a full house and I cooked for everyone of them and did the dishes after them ( for a whole week). The day I left, I left in anger and that was the last I heard from this guy until 3months ago he’s been begging me to come back,all of his family members including his Mum have also been begging me to come back, now I’ve moved on and I have a man that loves me than I love him but I can’t seem to get my mind off my Ex cos I really want to pay him back in his own coin. My confusion now is, do I take him back bearing in mind that I want to pay him back or I just break off communication and stick with my man? 

Dear Hurt

Don’t let your ex steal your spirit, Soul and dream, The more time and energy you spend thinking about how to exert revenge the less time you have to heal, Grow and restore your identity. Every second you waste thinking of how to get back at him is another second of your life that is gone forever. Revenge is the most basic human emotion and it should be meted out with care. If you wish to go back to him it should be for a pure reason and not that you want to pay him back with his own coin. You don’t even need to get back at him or get even with him. The best revenge you can give him is massive success, Making yourself happy and transform yourself into a better person that will make him regret his actions towards you.

Let go of the ugly thought of paying back and embrace your new found life, Come to think of it, In a way you should thank him for leaving you- Him leaving you has led you to meet someone that loves you more than he loved you that is enough reason for you to move on and forget about your ex, He now knows your worth and that is a suitable punishment for him, Stop every communication with him and focus on your new found love.




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