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Relationship work best when both partners are happy, Optimistic and supportive, But relationship can also be though especially when your partner has some bad habits that always drives you crazy and he or she is a good and decent person. Patience they say is a key to a successful and healthy relationship. It is best to always know what they are going through to give you a better understanding of the situation. Sometimes the person might not even know how their attitude is affecting you negatively, So its best you don’t take it personally at the first instance.


Hi Amaka, I need your help am 29yrs old I have been in a serz relationship with my boyfriend for 4years now but I seem not to understand his attitude he says he loves me but yet he has some attitudes which I feel he does intentionally for example on my birthday he goes on a low key or he comes up with excuses he doesn’t like taking responsibilities especially when I need him to do something for me urgently, he is not a man of his words he is so full of excuses we argue over little and insignificant things I have sat down and talked to him about his behavior and he said he was going to change am yet to see any changes to the extent I don’t know his place of business he only told me the location he said until he finish setting up the place before he takes me there he is a very secretive person I really don’t know his activities. Am yet to see any changes in him I really don’t know if I can end up with him cos I know I love him, but this attitude of his always put me off cos he talks about marriage I don’t want to make a life time mistake please advice me on what to do.

Dear Confused

Its true, sometimes when people are secretive and avoid talking about particular situation or certain people they might be possibly hiding something. Your boyfriend giving excuses continuously is very frustrating and can leave you feeling like something is going on behind your back, And maybe it is or maybe not. Its possible he is just been private with his life so before jumping into conclusion take things one step at a time, Perhaps he might be dealing with a situation that is limiting his ability to interact in certain ways.

You are yet to see any changes since you talked to him but have you tried talking to him again about it privately? Try expressing your feelings in a non-accusatory manner and tell him how you see him as been secretive and how it makes you feel. He might not be aware of the negative effect his attitude has on your relationship so its best you talk with him first before taking any step. If he really has the mindset of changing his attitude you will see glaring changes and if not then you have to decide on your next step.



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