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Dealing with a cheating spouse can be difficult and tricky, sometimes we blame ourselves for their cheating habit. If you want to deal with it in an healthy way, it requires asking and answering some very tough questions, but we must ask the right questions. So don’t let your self-doubts in, be confident and smart. Don’t confuse being cheated on with your self-worth. Partners cheat because they choose to go outside the relationship to get their needs met rather than figure out how to get them met within. There are many possible reasons why your partner chose to do this, and some of them could have to do with you so sometimes you need to really work on yourself but it’s not because you aren’t good enough, lovable enough, or whatever other value-related negative belief you have about yourself. There may be some things that you can improve about yourself and your relationship. That’s true of every one, including me. But cheating doesn’t happen necessarily because there’s something wrong with us.


 Dear Amaka
Am a twenty 23yrs old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now but in the 2nd year of our relationship till date, he has been cheating and lying to me. I have caught him on many occasions with this particular lady and he even denied knowing me in front of her on one occasion and also told the girl in front of me on another occasion that we re just friends. I broke up with him because of that but he said he will never let me go. Before that, I have asked him to stay away from me on several occasions because of his lies and cheating attitude but he refused. He comes to beg whenever I catch him with someone and I always forgive him. I got tired and decided to move on with a different guy who happens to be his friend even though they are not that close. I dated him for sometime but couldn’t continue because I still loved my boyfriend so we went our separate ways. My boyfriend is back saying we should work things out but the problem is that, I don’t know whether he really wants us to work things out or he is just coming back for his own selfish reasons and again my relationship with the other guy went a bit further and so I don’t know whether I should tell him what really happened between that guy and I or I should just let bygones be bygones. What should I do cos I love him so much even though he has hurt me on many occasions and what will happen if he finds out about what happened between that guy and I. He got to find out about us and tried to know how far I went with him but I refused to tell him.
 Dear Babe,
You truly seem to love this dude but its obvious that he doesn’t seem to really love you. Maybe because you are too obsessed about him and he feels that he can take advantage of you, why would you have a boyfriend who isn’t proud of you. He’s a cheat and its so obvious, for him to come back after introducing you as a friend might be a test so my dear open your eyes widely and use your brain wisely. Go for a man who truly cherish you and appreciates every minutes with you. Moreover someone who truly loves you won’t be hurt, cheati or make you sad. Another sincere advice I would like to give you is that, since you said the two guys are friends, if possible, just cut them off and start afresh with a new guy. Why I said so is that either they are close or not men are still men and if you didn’t get married to either of them, they would mock you later in life and this might be quiet embarrassing. In all I wish you the best.
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