I can remember the date and time, it was on December 24th when my husband’s mistress called me, they met on Badoo.com and she called to let me know that my husband and her have been having an affair for two years now. She went ahead and told me how they would fuck in my matrimonial bed while I was at work; how to spent the weekend at my house when I went to my hometown for my grandma’s funeral.
She also told me she spent a week at my house when I went with my daughter to visit my mother-in-law. What really got to me was when she told me she has met my daughter. Yeah, you read right. My husband was dumb enough to meet up with his mistress at a park, while they talked, my daughter and her daughter played together.
Immediately I heard all this, my heart sank, and as angry and heartbroken as I was, I didn’t fail to realize that this was ,y chance to get out of this marriage without feeling guilty. The night I found out about the affair, I threatened to wound him if he came home, so he stayed at an hotel. A month after, I moved out of our home.
Four months later, our divorce was final. It’s been 11 months now after I divorced him, and I couldn’t be happier, I am happier now than I’ve ever been in 8 years. Now that I realize how much of my life I’ve wasted with the man, I blame myself. Now I’m free, no one to monitor my every move while cheating, no one to lower my self esteem with their unthinking comments, no one to tell me what to cook every night even though it’s not convenient.
Although I have days that I’m sad and angry which often happens when I think about how naive I was to who he really is, but those are reducing now with time. I have forgiven him though I haven’t forgotten, I forgave him so I can have peace. I’m trying to be a better person, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I have a new vision, to be a better mum, friend, daughter, sister, and person that I can be, a blessing to the people that meet me.
And my ex? He’s fine I guess, living with his badoo lover. He hasn’t apologise, and I’m not holding my breath, because that’s okay. If I look at it from another perspective, he did me a favor, he freed me from the bondage of boredom, unhappiness, low self esteem and failure that I put myself through my marriage with him. I am now living the life I’ve wanted to live, 13 years ago before I ever thought I could.
If you are in an unhappy home like mine, don’t wait before something drastic happens before you act, I didn’t support divorce either, but when you are in an unhappy marriage, it might even be hard to achieve your vision.
I see you are happy with your decision, in all at the end of the day it is your happiness that counts and you have to be happy in whatever it is that you do, its not easy dealing with forgiving a cheating spouse, I am really glad that you have learnt to forgive him and move on and be happy,
Take your time enjoy your company,love yourself give yourself treats, take yourself out and be the best mum to your child, talk to her and let her understand the issue of divorce make her see that she is not loved less and that she is in no way the cause of the divorce, so she does not go about having inferiority issues.
In all I wish you the best.
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