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I need your advice seriously I was a virgin before I got married in 2013 my hubby hardly make love with me unless am ovulating because we are believing God for a baby,mid last year I got pregnant my hubby refused to make love with me. I have to carry my baby for complete nine months without my hubby making love to me he said that its irritating making love to a pregnant woman that he can’t do it I agreed I later gave birth this year but it was a very bad experience for me because my baby teared all my body just to have his way out.the kind of tear my baby gave me I dont know what to call it because the midwives tried sowing it to no avail bleeding everywhere I was taken to the theater the doctor has to loose the one sowed by the midwive and start his own everybody was having pity on me even the doctor because of the bad experience,my problem now is that I can’t understand my body anymore am having discharge one yellowish thing its coming out of my vagina I have taking a lot of drugs the thing reduced but its still coming out small I complained to a midwife she said I should not take drug again that I have taken too much drugs because of my baby that my mensuration will flush the remaining one. all the time I will be farting and it makes too much noise,my baby is 4months already my hubby has not kissed me talk more of making love to me each time ask him he will say he does not want me to get pregnant because am having irregular mensuration,all the time I see condom in his bag even when I was pregnant now I dont know what is happening to me since I gave birth I now hate my hubby with passion. help your fellow woman.What should I do

Dear Sister,

What I see here is a situation where by the husband can not express himself to simply tell you that you are not satisfying him, probably due to the fact that you were not experienced in that light it is possible that you do not do it right the way he would want you to, and it is possible that he married you as a trophy wife, to say that he got married to a virgin, its important that you talk to him, express your feelings and tell him to teach you what he wants.

Regarding your tear, it is best you go to a real hospital to find solution to this not even for your husband this time but for your own health and  well being. Take this issue very serious seek for help as much as you can, go to a real hospital, a good one with the right facilities and not some road side hospital, so you can get the right solution the earlier the better before you loose a lot to this.

Above all love yourself, do not feel bad about yourself, I feel some kind of self guilt and pain, its not your fault that your baby caused you to have a tear,  it can always be corrected, so instead of feeling down you can stand strong and seek solutions and you should steer clear of sex till you find a solution to your problem because having sex might cause the tear to expand which would harm you in the long run.

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