This is the part 2 to our fictional story of a calabar girl. You can read the part 1 here

Episode 2…

“Kayode, I deal in numbers …. Strictly numbers, you want to talk KPIs with me talk numbers, you want to talk cash with me … numbers, you want to talk women… numbers.”

“If Kayode dey talk when we dey talk woman matter e dey pain me. Kayode, let me tell you something because you don’t know nothing about women. NOTHING” Yemi dissed.

“Very funny, look Yemi, I’m married, I think I know a whole lot more about women than you do,” Kayode replied.

“Kayode, you know about Shade… The end! Outside her you know nothing John snow, every day you go back to the same pot of soup, variety equals zero, spoiler alert that is not sex my friend. There’s no thrill man, no hunt.”

The guys cheered. It was office gist time among the male clique in the office and as always Yemi was the champion when the subject of women came up.

“Remember that yellow pawpaw we saw at the club last week that was doing as if she doesn’t use toilet? Mchewww…. CALL ME THE PAROLE ENDER! Call me DCP – Deep Circle Penetrator! The babe left my hotel room 2 nights ago with bow legs. Who is her FADA!!! Is she mad? After 2 outings I hammered her!!”

Yemi could do this for a whole day, but luckily, the little chit chat could only last 15 minutes. As people devoured their lunch and returned to work.

Yemi was performing a cohort analysis on the numbers he had gotten from the field workers about the performance of some of the pipes in Ohaji/Egbema oil rich part of Imo state. He noticed vaguely that there was a growing chatter behind him. Something was happening at the window to the corner of the office and people were gathering steadily.

He took a glance towards the window, 8 people were there, 6 were muttering something… None of his business… he thought. He hadn’t worked for a full minute before he noticed the number was now 20 and for some reason, everyone kept starring back at him.


“Deep Circle Penetrator, I think you might want to see this. And bring your excel sheets with you cause there are a lot of unpleasant numbers here”. Kayode shouted.

It seemed like a joke, he would normally wave off, but Kayode looked serious and more people were gathering at other windows, no one was leaving back to their seats and most importantly, EVERYONE was staring at him.

“KayOOOO, you like drama sha, I dey come”

He walked over to the window slowly; something about the situation seemed very disturbing.

He couldn’t make sense of the first sights that caught his eyes. He expected to see a fight or maybe someone had stolen his car. **


A group of women standing outside the gate of the Headquarters of Nigeria’s biggest oil company with placards would attract any hungry journalist. And that it did.  They weren’t trying to get in, they didn’t want to see anybody, and they didn’t want any payment of any sort. They just wanted to make a statement. And they were making a very strong one.

Yemi scanned the small crowd of 15 – 20 women to understand what was going on.

Then he saw it!




PHONE NUMBER – 080389££$”,



Another placard read:






Yes… that was his name, his full names, his employee id, his number and email, but who the heck were these people, who did he rape, not one of them looked familiar especially not the purported victim. Who did he abuse? His longest relationship was with Mboutidem, they had been going out for 4 solid years and not once had he laid hands on her. Cheated? YES. Insulted her? YES. Kicked her out? Well only recently but YES. Still he had never raped her! And no one had aborted for him. He hadn’t even promised Mbouti marriage. So who were these touts?

“Yemi, what is this about?” Kayode was the first to speak, his voice was low but his tone was firm.

“Are they all among your numbers”? Someone butt in

Yemi caught the pun, but this was no time for jokes.

“I have no idea” he said after a minute of thought.

“Well maybe this would explain it “Hope thundered from a distance.

Mrs Hope…

The no nonsense taker and Madam of the HR department. Needless to say she and Yemi were not close friends.

“Yemi, those women have been there for just 15 minutes and a blogpost about this little protest outside the office has already gone up. It’s on 2 major gossip blogs as we speak. Some passer-by took a picture of the women protesting in front of the office, your name is in the photo, your phone number, and all the other stuff on placard. The worst part is that the company logo is in that picture“

“Your name is out there in the world as a rapist Yemi, and you’ve dragged the company’s name into your mud. I hate to break this to you but this is bad, you’re in a lot of trouble and I doubt it can be fixed.

Yemi could literally see himself falling into a very deep well as the words “I doubt it can be fixed” went through his mind over a hundred times. He was being accused of rape, by some nobody he didn’t even know.

Who would believe him? The company logo was in the picture! Goddddd Goddd no way, no way he was about to lose this job, he would rather die. 2.5 million naira per month! Where else would he see that kind of money? NO ONE WOULD EVEN EMPLOY HIM IF THIS MATTER LED TO HIS SACK!!

If it was on major blogs, thousands of readers would see it within minutes. Whether the story was true or false was inconsequential now, his reputation had been obliterated, he was tarnished for life.

He spent the next 30 minutes trying to take the story down. Damage control was the only possible option at the moment. The editors were adamant, they weren’t going to take down their story but they would be happy to publish his own side of what had happened.


His own side? His own side? What side of this madness was his own side? He was being accused of rape by a woman he had never seen in his life. Who came with a battalion of similarly confused riffraff’s accusing him of abuse, rape, and abortions!! Things he had never done. Enough!!! He was going downstairs to confront them.

He had just opened the door when he saw Stanley, the departmental head.

“Hi Yemi, you’re just the man I was looking for, the MD would like to see you”

His heart sank! Shit had hit the fan and it was about to come back raining down on him.





The MD? Yemi was stunned. Mr Kuri Lumpego, the Managing Director Eppsions Oils PLC. He was as rarely seen as he was heard of. He was like a ghost, an invisible puppeteer pulling the strings from deep within his wood styled office. Yemi knocked on the door softly, his hands trembling.

It was the 5th time that he was ever knocking on this door in the 22 months he had been in the company and it was just the 2nd time he would actually step into the office. The MD neither over saw the hiring nor the firing of staff, there was nothing you could do that was so critical that would warrant the MD seeing you unless he just felt like. As a staff you had to be at a certain level to have his corporate email address and if you did get it, you dare not misuse it.

Yemi could see his shiny bald head from behind his giant chair. His table was so huge you would think it was more of a shield from a missile attack. He had 3 huge life-sized framings of himself in the office. Everything was wood styled and very high quality. His office oozed of power; you could almost feel it seeping out from under the door if you stood just outside the office. There wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere and everything was not to be touched.

He spun his chair around and stared straight ahead. His gaze was intense, like he was looking at Yemi’s soul.

“This is the 2nd time we are meeting Yemi, and honestly I wish it were under more pleasant circumstance. Let me get straight to it. I have just one question…

“Tell me what you know about how this current situation emerged, your assessment of it and your proposed remedy to what I hope is just a grievous mistake on your part”

As expected his questions were like a set of arrows shoot at once, each one finding its target with 100% accuracy.

Yemi stuttered, “I don don n’t know the woman outside, I don’t know the other women either. This is a set up because there is no way I slept with all of them. I’m sure they want money. I am calling my lawyer and he will clear it up immediately. Please Sir”

“I see” Kuri replied “In that case, I think I have a better grasp of the situation so allow me to explain it to you”

“I sent a team to meet them earlier and find out what they want. The woman on the white shirt is supposedly the one you raped and jilted. Quite frankly neither I nor the company has any interest in your personal life. But you see those women with her are from the AWRO. The Activists for Women Rights Organisation. They are your worst nightmare ever, they have over $10m in funding and alliances with different governments across the world. They live for situations like this Yemi and they will drag u through the mud until proven guilty”.

“You’ve been an awesome staff, but my job here is to protect this company’s ultimate interest and your continued stay here is definitely not in our interest at all. This mess you’re in stains the company’s image”

“You are effectively suspended. You have till you walk out of the main gate to send in your resignation letter.”

At that moment, Yemi’s world stopped spinning.

As he walked out he could feel the weight of a thousand stares on his back, only Kayode offered to walk him to the gate. He had been directed to leave through the back gate like a thief in the night. For 22 months, he had lived the life of a proper Lagos big boy, different cars, different chicks, he had made it a mission to taste every possible specification of women. He even changed houses 2 times in less than 2 years.


Kayode was quiet as he walked his friend to the gate. The case was a disaster, Yemi’s phone was buzzing with calls from friends and family, the worst part was that Yemi had no idea who the woman was or how to defend himself, at least so he claimed. The media was going to crucify his friend and leave his corpse on a cross for vultures to eat.

“Yemi, if It means anything, I just want you to know I’m really sorry about all this. I hope you get it sorted out” Kayode said

Yemi could only nod. He didn’t even understand what was happening. He was staring blankly as he got into his car. The drive home was a blur, he saw nothing. He envisioned running his car into every truck that passed by but somehow he didn’t. He stopped at a pharmacy close to his home, eyes blood shot red, a loose tear hanging down his cheek. He asked for sleeping pills, the assistant was going to resist, but one look in the eyes of the mad man in front of her made her change her mind.

He popped the cover and swallowed an overdose in one gulp as he stepped back into his car. Caution and safety were mere. For all he cared, he might as well be dead.


She took the turn on the left, 3 more minutes and she would reach his house. As far as Yemi was concerned she was in South Africa right now. But then they had stopped talking for over 2 months, or rather she had stopped buzzing him incessantly. He had kicked her out of the house 4 months ago. After trying profusely to frustrate her out of his life, he kicked her out. Yemi…. The cunning fox, he was never one to use force, he had asked her to pack her things, they were going on a love trip since he had requested a 1 month leave from work. She packed and they went to a hotel in Lagos. He said it was just a sleep over before they travel the next day. They got there and then he said the trip had been cancelled…. just like that. He said he had also given the gate man instructions to have the locks of the house changed and that since she had packed her stuff it was unnecessary for her to return with him.

He needed a break, he said….

She looked herself over again in the rear view mirror. She needed to look worried and concerned. She made her worried face again. Perfect! She drove a little further down and saw a muscle 2009 car crashed in the bush. Plate number SGV328EV, she recognized it instantly.

The front of the car was badly damaged but not beyond repair. Grappling with despair, suicidal thoughts and the effect of the sleeping pills Yemi took a seldom used short cut and along the way he veered off the road through the bushes and crashed his car.

It wasn’t somewhere that he would easily be spotted and by 9:00pm no one would likely try to help but Mboutidem had been tracking him, not for weeks but for months. That was how she knew of his illicit rendezvous, his nights out with strange girls in big hotels while he claimed to be at work. When she saw his car stopped at that location on the map, she thought something might be wrong. She parked behind the car and asked her accomplice to hurry down. She managed to get in the passenger seat and tried to wake Yemi up. He was out. She panicked at first and then she sighted the container in the car. SLEEPING PILLS!! She put on a torch and did a physical inspection, he looked fine, no injuries or broken bones. The airbag had taken whatever damage he would have sustained and the crash hardly looked dangerous. He was either asleep or unconscious, but not in danger. He had swallowed a lot of pills, but apparently not enough to do any serious damage. She figured he had taken the pills on his way home, passed out and veered off the road. A devilish smile appeared across her face. To think she was actually almost genuinely worried for him though. She asked her accomplice for a helping hand, they lifted him to her car and drove him home

Even in his sleep, his face was contorted with agony. She loved it!! She literally felt physically aroused, his pain was her aphrodisiac. She kissed his forehead gently. “Not yet Yemi, please not yet, we haven’t even started. If you go commit suicide already, how do I justify all the planning I’ve done for everything else that’s coming your way. This isn’t a sprint Yemi, it’s a marathon and I’ve only just blown the starting whistle!

She pulled out her laptop from her bag and began writing an email to all the bloggers and news houses that had already carried the initial story about Yemi. She titled it

“Not what you think – My relationship with YEMI OTUNBAMIJO OLUKOSU over the past 4 years”.

She typed the mail, re-read it, smiled again and looked at Yemi’s face. She wanted to stay by his side and just soak in the pleasure of his pain. But then she had some making up to do. Yemi would wake up to see the lover he rejected, his scorned damsel turned knight in shining Armour by his bed side waiting on him, caring for him, praying for him, crying with him. She would tell him about how terrible his crash was and how she and a Good Samaritan had saved him from the car before it burst into flames. YES! FLAMES. She had instructed her accomplice to burn his car down to the ground! After all there were no witnesses.

Sleep well Yemi… You’ll need it. I have a lot in store for you to wake up to


Click here to read part 3. You cant guess what happened

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