There are certain behaviors we use to sabotage our desires when it comes to relationships. Though, you might think you are ready for love and can go to any extent to keep your relationship but have you thought of your behavior? Is it possible that your own behavior is stopping you from making your relationship work, here are behaviors that keeps you from finding a relationship that will work well for your needs;
1. Your standards are too high
You are looking for the never married lawyer in his 40’s who graduated from Yale and has a mansion, convertible and perfect life right? Looking for someone who is out of your league or does not have any reason to find value in you as a partner, is another reason you haven’t found a relationship that works.
2. Love has made you jaded
No one would want to be in a relationship with someone who is focused on negativity, thinking about the negativity, regret and resentment in your past relationship will keep you from making your relationship work. Learn lesson from your past loves, let it go, grow and open yourself up to only positives.
3. You apply the deal breaker rule to every date
We all have deal breakers that will just get under our skin so we know to avoid those types of people but you are not perfect either. You are not giving your partner a fair deal if you ignore his/her positive traits just because he has a negative behavior. This might be the behavior that is stopping you from finding a relationship that works, try and focus on the positive aspects of your next partner.
4. Low self esteem
It’s hard to love someone else until you can say the same about your relationship with yourself. Focus on yourself for a while and then look for romance.
5. You are pursuing someone who isn’t single
If you are tying yourself up with someone who isn’t available, that means you are not also available to find someone who is looking for you. Even if he/she might leave their spouse later, but in the meantime you are tying yourself down.
6. You keep repeating the same pattern in relationships
You need to stop repeating old patterns of unhealthy relationship behavior before you can be in a relationship that really works. Dwelling in your past relationship will not work for you in a new relationship because your partner wants you to live in the here and now with them and if you can’t let go of old, negative habits that do not serve you, you can’t have a healthy relationship.
7. You find it hard to trust
It can be emotionally scary to put yourself out there to be potentially hurt, but you have to take risk if you want a big payoff. It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.
8. You are yet to heal from the hurt of your childhood
The way you bond with a romantic partner is based on how you learned to love as a child, if your childhood years were not happy ones, it will take a lot of healing before you can find a relationship that works.
9. You are afraid of what would happen if you did find the right person
Fear is not uncommon for those who are single, and in this case it’s the fear of finding a relationship that works. Sometimes you fear losing your freedom, or losing the potential for another romantic partner who could be even better and who might come along when you aren’t available. Sometimes, it is a fear of success that keeps you from true love.
10. You think you have to give up who you are to be in a relationship
You should never have to sacrifice your personality for a romantic partner, so resolve to never let that happen and be ready for the possibility of a love where you can still be yourself and be in a relationship that works.
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