Codependent relationship signifies a degree of unhealthy clingy-ness where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy. Codependent adults often start out as children who grew up with the negative pattern of trying to take care for others at the expense of themselves, the key sign is your sense of purpose in life wraps around making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partners needs. It might have never occurred to you that you are in a codependent relationship, but if any of these signs are present in your relationship, then you are in a codependent relationship;
1. You have so much love to give but your partner rejects it
If you shower your partner with so much love and support, you help them financially and emotionally but they just don’t seem to be able to heal themselves in spite of your love then you are in a codependent relationship. When you are in a codependent relationship, giving until it hurts is your motto.
2. You say YES when you really mean NO, and then feel resentful about it
You will only be hurting your personal integrity if you accept the demands of your partner in an attempt to make him or her happy which can be very unproductive. Pay attention to your own needs first and make sure that they are being met, fulfill your own needs without your partners help to break the cycle of a codependent relationship.
3. You think you can help your partner to change
People in codependent relationship try to fix each other’s negative behavior rather than changing their own destructive habits. If you feel certain that you could be happy if only your partner would listen to you, then you can keep trying, but therapy to heal the self-image will help people to heal from codependent relationships.
4. You worry about your partner leaving
People in codependent relationship feel insecure but people in a healthy relationship do not. If your partner is angry at you all the time because you keep asking them to change and you are frustrated by their lack of change but you are determined to keep trying, you worry that they will reject your help and spiral further into their negative pattern, then you are in a codependent relationship.
5. You rarely do anything away from your partner
If you do not trust what your partner will do apart from you or they control your comings and goings, if you or your partner seeks to control the behavior of each other, it is not a healthy pattern and you might be in a codependent relationship.
6. Your partners mood affects your own mood
What about your own mood when you are too sensitive to your partner’s mood and their needs? You cannot change how your partner feels but you can change your own emotional state and how you respond to their negative mood.
7. Your partner’s behavior is borderline or abusive
Are you afraid of your partner? Do you feel like they are suspicious of your activities when you are not with them, do they accuse you of things you have not done or tell you what you can and can’t do, do they limit your friendship with others, are they abusing drugs or alcohol or engaging in other self-abusive behavior, then you might be in a codependent relationship. Wanting to help an addict or anyone who is engaging in destructive behaviors by protecting them from themselves is a sign you are in a codependent relationship.
8. You imagine leaving your partner
Life would be easier with someone who would listen to your feedback or who at least can’t be angry all the time, although, these thoughts drift through your head, you are likely to do anything to leave your partner, that is the nature of a codependent relationship.
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