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Trust issue is one of the leading causes of breakups, A lot of time, Men that have experienced unfaithful partners bring the unresolved issues to their new relationships which the new girl will have to deal with. Its not easy dealing with a partner that has experienced such.
Dear amaka, this is my story,I had a colleague in d office but in another department, he liked me nd asked me out 2 yr s ago, due to my genotype I declined as we were both As. we kept watching each other from afar den I saw him as too old for me 11 years my senior, nd he broke up with his wife his divorce processes just started last year left with a baby girl.tocut a long story short, we hooked up early dis year as I found my self working in d same building with him bec of my redeployment. Let me state it ere dat i am an indoor lady, young in my early 30 , people see me as beautiful, with a natural light skin , not d sharp lightness nd people appreciate my skin colour dat i didn’t use cream to bleach.this has to do with my strict up bringing as I come from a responsible home with high morals nd principles. The summary of it all is that I don’t see my self as beautiful, I feel m just there, it dosent get into my head.m defined as a reserved person. I fell hopeless in love with him, he was everything I wanted in a man.dear amaka, he kept asking himself questions like could I be real? Do girls like me really exist? I am a career lady but know perfectly how to balance maintain a home nd office work. The only problem with the guy was his trust issues, I kept appealing to him that it can destroy a wonderful relationship like ours before it finally happened, he started assuming I was sleeping with my ex every night just because I hav neighbors who hav d same colour and same car like my ex, he sees a car parked in d neighbourhood and assumes it’s my ex, even after I kept appealing to him to re verify his story.and from my place I regard it as a taboo, we don’t sleep around.he goes through my phones sometimes he accuses me of communicating with my ex which I didn’t nd he claims I delete d call log . finally I couldn’t stand his allegations anymore I called it off after on a working day he called me up to his office nd then tells me d previous day i spoke to my ex before he came visiting.he went on and on with fabricated stories, I couldn’t stand him any more, he comes to search my house in d middle of the night just to make sure d ex wasn’t hiding somewhere, and early in the morning, .not that I was d wild type or out going type to deserve this from him, I am a home girl an indoor girl but he kept sniffing around me because he claimed I was a fine girl, so therefore I shud have admirers. I had to bring my mum into the picture d first time he accused me of sleeping with my ex every night in my house, I couldn’t stand it because I regarded it as a taboo in my place . finally I called it off, there is no need holding unto a relationship that was leading to marriage that there was no trust.it was so painful, he called me un printable names, I had to block him from my watsapp because it was affecting me seriously but that didn’t stop him from sending taunting messages to me.I responded several that we should go to mtn to spool out my call nd sms statment, that should convince him, or talk to the neighabour around about the owner of a particular vehicle which he claimed was the ex or we give d no of the vehicle to vio to get the owner of the car but he declined, how can a responsible man , far more matured than I am judge me on assumptions? and choose to damage a promising relationship all because of his imagination without proof and refusal to even get proof.its a painful break up because I cannot comprehend why a man will act like this.i feel he’s jinxed. I don’t know how to move on because this breakup made me realise how I loved him so much and he did this to our love, sometimes I feel he is not normal probably under a spell, his failed marriage was because of infidelity so he told me but its obvious he caused it and his previous relationship that almost led to marrage, he called off the wedding bec they had fixed the dates already, he called it off because he claimed d lady was cheating on him, then he started his trust issues with me.i am getting older and I keep asking my self why do I keep meeting the wrong men who don’t deserve me.
Please advise me, I need help as some times I feel like going back to him, I don’t know what to do again.kindly let me know when you want to publish my story so I can get advises, thank you
Dear Lover Girl
Your boyfriend has trust and insecurity issues, He may feel he is not good enough for you and that you might leave him one day. He has gone through a divorce but did you get find out why he divorced his wife? Maybe he is cheating and he doesn’t not want you to do the same that is why he is being over protective. You don’t have to prove to him that you are faithful if he cannot trust you then that relationship is baseless. If he cannot let go of his issues, There is nothing you can do to make him do so.
You have really helped him to get over his trust issues but he doesn’t want to so please let it go. Its hard to stay away from him because you work in the same office but you have to, don’t reply his messages or calls, Ignore him and if he feels receptive he will definitely come around and if he doesn’t please move on, It is better now than to go through a divorce when you perhaps eventually get married.
Hey darlings,this sister is in desperate need of your advice,please leave your comment and advice in the comment box below.
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