This is a message we received in our inbox. We have given advice and set up a poll to seek public opinion. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You know that state of confusion where you feel unsure about what to do, with all kinds of conflicting thoughts. You are relating it with your friends and making list but still cant figure it out, but the truth is, those moments you feel confused and unsure, you have more clarity than you think. To get more clarity on any decison search your heart and figure out what you want from love and life.
Pls hide my identity. My story is a very complicated one. Hmmmmm! I got married close to 10yrs ago, but , had 2kids from the marriage, but I was never happy, cos I didn’t love my spouse. I told him dis before marriage, but he kept on blackmailing me emotionally, till I gave in. Bt d marriage only lasted a few yrs. I had to leave, cos I was bitter , depressed and always contemplating suicide. I later met a guy 4yrs ago, he’s about 15yrs older, Muslim, already married & wants to marry me. But d problem is I hid d fact that I’ve married before or ever had kids from him. I’m a very pretty Lady in my mid 30’s , if I don’t tell you I have kids, you won’t know. My man is never around, though he takes very good care of me. At a point I got tired of being alone, so I met this young guy , same age with me and still single. But d problem is dat dis guy doesn’t do anything for me, he doesn’t know how to give, only knows how to receive. I’m not after his money , cos I have a very good paying job. But just felt he should be supportive no matter how lil. I’ve been looking for a way out of d relationship , but couldn’t cos I love him. I went as far as advising him to get married dat can’t be together since I already have kids, he reluctantly agreed, bt never left me , I’ve broken up with him severally, but we end up coming back. Now, we’re practically leaving together, and he’s planning we get a place together. D issue now is, I am so confused, I don’t know if I should just tell my Muslim guy I have kids and settle down with him , cos I know for sure he’ll still accept me anyways, or settle down with dis other young guy. Who doesn’t do anything for me. Or leave d both them and start afresh. Pls i need your advice. As I’m so CONFUSED and at a CROSS ROAD!
We posted this on our facebook page and here are the advice.
You need to think about what you really want because every marriage has its purpose. Have you divorced the father of your kids? Are you marrying the married man for love or because he is a means to an end? You are feeling confused because you fail to listen to your heart and cheating on the father of your kids is not a good idea. Don’t be in a hurry to settle down with either men.
Your mind is in both directions, you seem to love the young guy truly and love the Muslim man for what he does. Have you bothered to think of which of this men loves you the most? Try and make findings because someone that loves you will love you regardless of your shortcomings . Don’t make another mistake of marrying someone you don’t love since you can’t cope with it.
Hey darlings, this sister is in desperate need of your advice, please leave your comment and advice in the comment box below.
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